It went so well!!!! I wrote it all out before I went in and read it to him at the beginning. (I was shaking, but I did it) He was so great about it. We did an eye switching technique to try release the transference (I think that's how he put it) then we worked on defining my "safe" place and we will work on that again next week with a different variation of EMDR. (I dissociate with EMDR)
I also talked to him about my physical pains I have been having that only get worse when I come to therapy. (Pelvic ache and stomach problems) We talked about whether I would be happier with a female therapist and I honestly don't think I would be. AND I actually left there remembering the whole session and didn't dissociate!
I still feel good ... maybe tonight I will sleep. :-)
Thank you so much for all the support on this!