I'm finding myself worried that people (my therapist in particular) know what I'm thinking. I also find myself, instead of wishing for vibrant, full lives for my children, wishing they would die young so they would miss out on life's misfortunes and also to be sure they are saved. Concurrently, I can envision the agony of losing my children. I couldn't live if anything were to happen to them. I just wish my mind worked properly.