I m getting better, but i realize that still living in delusion,,,,or say triggers,

I know what i shall do, what I shall think, but the brain does not listen to me, and it just forgets so fast of the correct things i tell myself, and soon back to those delusion life. There is stil such a strong push to push me back to old life, seems no hope to get out of this memory life.

and so easy to forget any new knowledge which i m learning, but i used to be a good memory person.

Do u have similar symptoms?