Ive been thinking and come to realize what is keeping me from killing myself is fear fear of failure mainly and a little fear of success though mainly fear of failure but if i don't die my parents will like my fears are telling me they will im not able to cope with that nor am i able to take care of myself after there dead i have family members that can take care of me but do they really want to. My godmother said she wouldn't cause shed be afraid id end up killing myself. Ill probably end up homeless. So ive decided some months down the road to wait all night if i have to see if i can convince myself to do something stupid here comes the problem ive now told my family that i want to go bac k to after this supposed ly happens so i guess im already expecting to live from this but i don't think I should be so confident i know i could seriously hurt myself i just don't know what my problem is i know the result if i do this will be ending up in the hospital i don't want to go there i just don't know how to stop myself from getting to that point . should i just not go back to school is that the answer?[emoji30]

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