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Originally Posted by ruh roh
I don't think anything that you've reported about this therapist sounds at all over the top or concerning. He appears to be more of a sounding board--you bounce ideas off him and he responds with a solid view. As others have said, school is an area that's hard to go wrong with, sort of like being supportive of an athlete who is considering taking something to the next level by getting a trainer. It's not an either or situation, which seems to be how your friend sees it.
Maybe there is something more going on that your friend is picking up on, but I don't see it as a red flag that a therapist is being encouraging of getting a good education to pursue professional goals that require higher education (thinking of grant applications where you have to submit the qualifications of staff and organization).
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I think this is basically it. You talk to me long enough and you know I CAN be rather impressionable. I’m actually extremely stubborn and hard headed as well, lol. But if I respect you - if I believe that you’re on my intellectual level or better and I believe you care about me, my brain can be putty in your hands. I have a few people in my life that I defer to like this and she is one of them. People at work NEVER get to see this because I pretty much believe that I work with a bunch of idiots. That’s not to say that some of them aren’t smarter than me - maybe they are, but they have never proven that to me. I guess management feels like they don’t have to but that’s also why they don’t have my respect. But all of that is another story. I don’t think she liked anyone in a position of power molding me.
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Originally Posted by lolagrace
Kind of sounds like your friend was triggered by something you said; perhaps she had a past experience with a therapist that this triggered in her? Who knows?
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Going back to what I just said about molding, I’d say yes. I don’t know that it necessarily had anything to do with something that happened to her PERSONALLY, but one of the things she had said was, “People who don’t know what they’re doing who are telling people what to do are getting people killed.” This I understand. I volunteered with a domestic violence program YEARS ago and if there was ONE thing that hit home above all else, it was that you NEVER tell them what to do. She said, “They know how to survive their relationship and you don’t. Telling them what to do can get them killed.” Women are more likely to be killed when they make that attempt to leave so I took all of that to heart. I’m guessing she learned that lesson along the way somewhere too.
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv
It sounds like he steered you. I don't know if that's a therapy no-no.
I wish my last T had steered me away from a terrible choice I made. I laid it all out for him and asked him if he thought what I wanted to do sounded sane and like a good thing to do, and he said it sounded sane and good-- but it wasn't. Looking back on it I see it wasn't. I wish he had pointed out the truth to me. I am actually pretty upset that he encouraged me to do something so stupid.
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I had a therapist that I think steered me to a terrible choice. Didn’t really steer me, but basically watered a thought in my head that I really hadn’t thought through. I was too much of a mess to honestly be making decisions so to put something in my head to make it seem like a good idea - that is something I can’t forgive myself for and I’m FURIOUS with her. I can’t even remember her name - that’s how few times I’d seen her.