Hello,
First you are NOT evil, most of us are brought up eating meat its the normal thing to do -
And your not a sociopath or you wouldnt even bother posting about it

Ethically I agree with you - I have tried to go vegan or vegetarian many many times and failed - I have limited my intake of meats and that is a step in the right direction for me
When I see a documentary about factory farming it makes me feel sick - I dont understand how we can do that - well I do - its about producing fast and filling a market with no concern for the animal concerned - personally I couldt work in one of those places
I eat free range - that way at least i know they had a reasonable life
I do understand the guilt
its a very hard thing to do ..
you cant change your past but if you really want to you can change your future
while you are getting food - and if you need it - eat it
my neice told me the animal is already dead if you are given food and you throw it away or waste it thats disrespecting the animal too
I am gradually cutting things out of my diet
I dont eat lamb
or veal
only eat and very rarely - free range eggs
if I ate chicken it would be free range - but i dont
I dont eat fish (you have to take flaxseed oil capsules to compensate for that) flaxseed oil capsules are the equivelent to omega 3 oil that comes in fish
I take vitamin B12 because my meat intake is low and you need b12 for energy (so i found out :-) ))
bottom line
we do what we can when we can - you cant change the past - you can change your future - I was a huge meat eater and have gradually cut back over the years - it wont happen overnight - nothing does
I wish you luck - and happiness
please stop being so mean to yourself - treat yourself as you would a best friend - would you say those things to your best friend?
make ethical choices when you can
do the best you can
thats all we can ask
P7
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts
its how many times you get back up!
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture
)
When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet