I was thinking about what I told Sister in a previous post-- that the initial call to her T can be just the 1st step-- simply hearing his voice, knowing he's back. So I put aside all the mixed up, crazy feelings I'm having and left him a message. When I hung up the phone I felt like a complete idiot. I said, "Hi. I guess I'm calling you make sure you still exist.... it's been awhile... so... if you could call me back, that would be good." Yeah. Real elegant. Mortifying. Then I hung up and realized I forgot to tell him to call before 5:30 if he can because I'll be in class. So then I got even more anxious. Then I relaxed a bit and went back to my original thought-- even if he does call while I'm in class and my phone is off, he will leave a voicemail (hoepfully not a crappy one)-- and thus I will have accomplished just hearing his voice talk to me and knowing he's back. I don't have to get crazy over things nor do I have to restrain myself from calling him.... I just have to let it go a bit and then regroup to find out what is that I want-- small steps at a time. Telling him what I need in small steps... and right now, I just need to hear his voice. So I asked. Now I wait.

Thank you for everyone's support during these last two weeks. It has meant a lot to me.