I have started a program of walking and meditation for 6 weeks. I read that in a trial walking/meditation program people reduced depression by 40%. So I decided to try it. I have been doing it for 5 days. I started out meditating twice a day for 30 minutes, and walking a minimum of 50 minutes. I have doubled my walking time (and more) and am up to 2 hours. The meditations I am keeping at 30 minutes twice a day. I have meditated for years so meditation is not new to me.

I have been fighting depression and anxiety, and the last thing I have wanted to do is to go out and walk in the sunshine. I have become more the Goth type...I like dark rooms with the shades drawn, silence, a bit of incense.

But I am curious to see if this could really reduce depression by 40% which seems like a pretty outrageous claim.

After about a week I have felt a teeny tiny bit better. Like little waves of feeling better for a few seconds. Even a few minutes!

You could try getting out and walking or doing something outside like shoot some baskets. If it is night and you can't walk you could practice meditation. Meditation is really good for reducing internal pressure which is what I am assuming builds up to the point where you absolutely need some kind of release. For you I think something structured would be best. Here is a Zen meditation to get grounded: Get in a comfortable position, half or full close your eyelids. Count your breaths until 18 then start over. You will lose your focus a lot. When you do just start over. At first you might only get to 18 a few times. If you keep going over 18 that means your mind is too loose, and you should stop the meditation and try again in a few minutes. Go get a glass or water or something.

At some point during meditation you should start to feel little waves of relief, like your body and mind are letting go of tension. I would suggest that every time you feel like self-harming either go for a walk or meditate. Keep a little notebook, track your moods, how many times you meditated, and for how long you walked. Maybe also note what option you took instead of self-harming. Observe! Observe! Observe!