No one is intentionally being rude to you. Everyone is rather confused.

You've changed plans so many times that it's hard to keep it straight. At one point you were getting married at Disney. Then on Halloween. Then on Christmas Day at Disney world. Now it is a hand fasting which isn't including a legal component.

A hand fasting without the whole legal marriage is a commitment ceremony, not overly viewed as a wedding/marriage. Especially considering that you have a non-monogamous relationship and have zero plans to live with each other. There's nothing wrong with the relationship as it is, nor having a hand fasting.

Legal marriages come with various legal benefits, so to have a legal marriage and yet have no indications of a marriage within the relationship - well yes, that will be viewed as weird. Because marriage is people commuting to each other and being part of a team. But you and your guy don't seem to want any of the team aspect, which makes the legal aspect of marriage seem pointless.

And really, if you don't want to hear people's actual opinions, you probably shouldn't ask.