I thought this article was fascinating, both for the train wreck of bad therapy she had (just a good story well written) and because it was thought provoking about where this all led her. She said:

"My work as a psychotherapist has helped me see that my wants and needs as a client were legitimate. They were nothing to be ashamed of, or hide, or regret. I had a right to want more from my therapist, and I encourage my clients to expect nurturing and care from me.I had a right to want more from my therapist, and I encourage my clients to expect nurturing and care from me. I encourage them to want connection and attunement. I give my clients what I wish my therapist had given me, so in that sense, my work has also been therapeutic for me. And my experience of bad therapy has helped me become a better therapist because I know very well what doesn’t work and what isn’t helpful."

I really like the way she thinks about encouraging clients in their needs and wants. Maybe that is where the soul of therapy really is. I think that has definitely been something that has been useful to me in and out of therapy-- as maybe for some people (perhaps this now-therapist) she knew what she needed and wanted. But I haven't always, and just recognizing what I want or need has been pretty life changing at times. And then to ask my T for it, directly, has been really scary. Sometimes she's been willing but it turned out for other reasons that she couldn't, sometimes she has said no, sometimes she has said yes and it happened and it wasn't a big deal, sometimes it was.

Thanks for posting the article. Lots to think about from the great storytelling she does about what she experienced.