T,

Tomorrow is a early session. I haven't had one so early. I'm nervous. I need to talk about something. It's better to talk about this to you before you leave, for 5 months or for forever. Eventhough anger anger towards you is hard to tell you about, ''positive'' feelings are even harder. It makes me feel so vunerable. You already know I think you're a good T and that I'm a bit attached to you. But that I long to have something more. Not something outside of therapy, but just something more. Admitting I envy you. Telling you I want to know more about you. I know almost nothing about you. I know that's how it works in therapy, but the longer I see you, the longer I wonder about who you are. An then, telling a long for some contact. I want a hug. Talking about the desire to have some psychical contact with you or with anyone, just a hug, it feels like I shouldn't tell anyone that.

I need to write something down on paper, so I can give it to you. I don't feel like doing that. I don't want to go. I don't want to feel like this. I'm so tired of everything. I'm so tired of starting over.

Why did this had to happen now?