Thanks everyone!!

No, I am not capable of going on without breaking. In fact my life is crumbling around me now. I just don't want to lose one more thing to mental illness. I only got out of hospital 6 weeks ago and was doing well for a few weeks. This free fall has me scared.

Right now I am preparing to go into university for the morning but I am so anxious and low I am not sure I will make it in. I have work this afternoon and will need lots of clonazepam to get through. Having had so much time off recently, when in hospital, I am afraid to call in sick. Deferring university seems to be my only option and that breaks my heart.