I'm not entirely sure if any of this is triggering and I can't figure out how to tag it since I'm on mobile.

I'm so worn out. Lashed out today at people who didn't understand. It makes me feel like I shouldn't exist at all. I wanted to self admit to a PW today but soon realized that 'disappearing' would be a better option, since if the people closest to me were to find out why I want to admit myself they would want me dead anyway.

I'm just going to go to my job tonight and just space out on my work. Maybe it'll even help clear my head.

I'm so afraid of him disappearing on me. He hasn't talked to me all day or all last night despite my attempts to reach him. Hasn't even wished me a happy holiday though I could care less about it. It's the thought that counts I guess.

I feel like he could vanish at any given moment. It's not like there's anything keeping him around me. I'm not nearly good enough for him. He's such an angel. If only he knew how messed up I actually am.

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