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I destroyed/damaged lots: pretty much only non-material stuff. Way back I damaged someone's head.
Non-material stuff tends to grow stronger if not too severely damaged, though. I am very thankful for that.
I always try to take the fullest possible responsibility, taking paradoxical effects for my mental stability into account, even if only later. Not having it happen too often is the best I can manage. Balancing the odds.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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