Quote:
Originally Posted by diglucy
Well, one thing that is not very clear in these posts is...does she know you are monitoring these messages? Just from the subtext, it seems like you may be accessing these conversations between your girlfriend and her ex when she is not present. Is this the case? Or just the information she is presenting you?
Either way, I agree with both Rose76 and Tishabuy. She probably is enjoying this at some level. Whether it be to coax you into a deeper relationship, possibly to show the other guy..."look, i am so in love but I am willing to do this to him for you", I mean whatever her intentions are, she is disrespecting you. Tishabuy mentioned the situation with her ex fiance and a similar situation, which I am sorry that happened to her but she made the right call. But she voiced her feelings about the wedding upfront and you didnt do the same. My fiance was recently invited to a wedding without a plus one and I wouldn't care a bit if he went without me. But he turned down the invitation and did not attend because he knew it would be inappropriate. He didn't even want me to feel embarrassed that I wasnt invited and simply hid the invitation and didnt tell me. His sister told me a few months later. He has also paid for my meals at weddings he did want to attend that did not include a plus one. I know we may not all have the money for 2 people to go to a wedding with air fair, accommodations, gifts, clothes etc...but I wouldnt have gone if my fiance couldnt or wasnt invited. Its really respect over money. We would have taken the money we would have spent and saved it for a time we both could have gone and seen the family and new couple together.
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The reason I broke up with him over it was because he didn't put me above these so-called friends, he didn't have my back. And I did make the right call, that guy made a lot of dumb choices and wouldn't listen to me about anything. If you want to be happy in a relationship, you must listen to each other and recognize when the other is right.
I understand she was invited to the wedding before you were together, and if she had decided not to go because you couldn't that would have been really great of her to honor you and reassure your commitment.
I'd be ok with her going, but not ok with how friendly she's being with the ex. She shouldn't have even told you how aggressive he's being, she just should have blown him off. It would have been the best most mature choice for her to have not even gone to the wedding.