In general I am feeling better and worse than ever.

I had another appointment today. Yes, two days in a row. I called this morning for an extra appointment and he had an availabililty today. The vacation served to bring the relationship to a depth I never expected by bringing up feelings I had buried long ago. Today, I told T another dream and the s x subject came up. And as I am telling T the dream, i realized what it was about, but the cat was out of the bag, so to speak. No need to go into detail but suffice it to say I walked into it blind. Whoa.

I will be seeing him twice a week for a while. Big huge sigh. I cannot believe I had the courage to ask. The work is getting harder. But it's okay, and what I want and need to move forward. (so who am I convincing you or me?) It's like walking through a forest with a blindfold and a guide--so frightening and dependent, something I am not used to (well, the dependent part).

Alrighty then.......