I'm in the same boat - it's either one or the other. Beautiful weather, great music, and the knot of anxiety in the pit of my stomach, the agitation of not being able to sit calmly, feeling like the other shoe is going to drop at any minute.

Or the struggle to get out of bed, wanting only to crawl back into the hole and not acknowledge anything in the world, curling in on myself, dealing with the ideation and intrusive thoughts, and giving up on my and the world around me.

Ugh. Sorry you're dealing with this, too - hoping we both get to a more balanced field, and soon.