i know how tempting it is... try to keep them away though...
seems when you do do it then it just makes you want to do it more...
and it just gets worse each time ya know



i dunno what to offer as advice to do instead... just try everything else instead of that; loud music, some beers, anything safer right?

but if it happens i know how you feel.. i know i do it because i need serious help... if you arent in therapy then can you get into therapy...?
my memory is horrible so if i have asked you before then i apologize

hoping i can get therapy soon... only problem is i know i wont be able to do it as much as i need... i might can do it once a month - but i dont have transportation and dont want to ask my dad to drive me to therapy once a week... but we need to talk with someone that understand and can help us get to the bottom of why we do these things and have these urges

i think for me its complicated because of trauma, severe depression and anxiety, and that somatization stuff whatever it is... part of me feels like i deserve it... part of me wants to release pain in a REAL way... part of me just wants to know that i can still feel real pain... part of me just wants to distract my mind off the psychological stuff going on in my head...
i dunno exactly why... i just know i need to figure it out so that dont do it anymore

therapy the only way i can work through this... because i think im constantly dissociating and its hard to work through things when your mind is intentionally removing memories or avoiding memories or ... not remembering things...

sorry im not trying to blab on about me me me me - just trying to share what im thinking in hopes that it can resonate with you and help you some how - im not really good at explaining things or talking about this stuff

keep them blades away far away as you can, closer you have access the closer you are to doing it, IF you do do it... please becareful... clean everything...

stay safe