(((((kebs))))) i know how you feel. although i haven't done ect treatments, and don't want to do that, i know what it did to you. funny that i'm trying to convince myself to do it. day to day, it's torture. it's a struggle to keep my hopes alive. i had to file an appeal with my insurance company, since they refused to cover for my vns therapy. even if they still refuse, my husband won't take no for an answer and will find a way for me to get it, even if it means paying for it ourselves. he totally supports me getting the vns therapy. i should hear from my insurance company on their decision in 2 weeks.