Because I'm terrified of it, and I feel like I'll be a little less judged here than on the more intellectual sites I frequent.

There's an estimation that by 2045 machines will be able to do most jobs. The ones they won't do, I assume, will be programming, engineering, and maybe the arts; I only have promise in one of those, maybe. I'm a failure at STEM, and now it seems the likelihood of supporting myself through crappy low-end jobs is unlikely. It also puts limits on what I think would be worth studying if I do try to educate myself.

People like me will meet one of two fates: be totally crushed and destroyed in a technocratic society (to quote someone online, "Welcome to the information age Luddites, start coding or die."), or be supported as a mass underclass through some new distribution system. Even if the latter happens, don't pretend the technically inclined won't be the future elites.

I find that scientific and tech development actually scares me a little, particularly if it might influence humans somehow. Historical knowledge or stuff in space isn't going to affect me; machines that can read human emotion, work being systematically automated, or the possibility of non-necessary enhancements make me anxious for reasons I can't even explain. I guess that makes me a neo-luddite; I don't like it, but it's true. I mean, I'm indifferent to most kinds of modern tech - I don't even have a smartphone. Maybe it's change I'm scared of.

There's also a part of me that feels like studying STEM would be some defilement of my Self. Like if I became a technical type, working in a STEM field, I'd be less me somehow. I do know I fear a loss of self in regards to modifications to my body PR brain - even perfectly normal modern things like plastic surgery make me feel this way. Smarter people say this feeling is fallacious, misguided, and anti-progress, and I believe them, but I can't help it.

Damn, I didn't mean to write this much.