sorry i just now saw your post...

have you been evaluated for bipolar?
from my understanding if you have bipolar and take antidepressant by itself it can make it alot worse... cause mania and stuff...
when you feel happy those days do you feel elated? or a little euphoric?

im definitely not a professional, just seem like maybe it could be bipolar...
impulssivity is an indicator(like spending money).. the mood changes is an indicator..
maybe something you can look into and see if you relate with bipolar symptoms?

i know how frustrated you are... but dont give up...
im currently miserable as hell too because i cant get a doctor... but as long as we keep fighting, keep that hope for the future like you said, we can hopefully find success and relief