Sure I understand. After my first depression lit up for a bit of which I was grateful, I also didn't have anything to ID me as being different about anymore. I felt that "my" difference somehow needed a name. I felt without identity without the dx of depression. Guess what? That little issue with identity, was actually a sign of something "wrong", LOL. That I couldn't just "be" different without any word for it WAS in itself a problem. I now think it is closely connected with my fluid self identity and my almost lack of emotional memory.

Getting diagnosed with aspergers and ADD kind of felt like a relief back then, then I HAD to be weird forever and ever.

These days I think I could live without labels and still know I'm a weirdo, but back then it was different.