Yes Pink I did it! I walked in thinking if Pink can give her T an entire book of her most intimate thoughts, I can surely give him the chart and summary notes.

I was beyond scared because I thought he would be disappointed in me about what I posted the other day. He said at one point 'why are you so ashamed about this' or something like that. I just said I thought he would be disappointed, he didn't say he wasn't disappointed but maybe he didn't need to.

He didn't ask me many questions about what I wrote and then he gave it all back to me. He then said he didn't think it is productive for me to be tracking my moods daily since it is triggering obsessiveness etc. I did talk this over with him before I did it and he told me how to track moods from -5 to +5 but I guess he's seeing that I shouldn't track to this level of detail journals and all.

I told him that I felt like I was further along than I am. He said 'maybe you aren't right now'. He did comment on how depressed I seemed and I am but guess what? I have no idea why. He said I could write down what is happening at the time that I crash like that and bring it in to him.

The session went okay, nothing earth shattering happened. I asked him if he still thought seeing him again this week would be okay. He said that he didn't think he could fit it in with two days left to the week. Believe it or not, this didn't bother me.

I just said okay next week then. He suggested a book Mind Over Mood and he showed it to me, well sort of. He was standing too far away and I couldn't read what he was showing me. Again, normally I would be hurt but tonight not so much. Normally, I would want to say 'uh you can sit here and I won't jump you' but I didn't get the urge to say that.

I feel odd right now. I did tell him that I am not sure what to do when I get as bad as I did last week and that I don't want to be calling him or in fact, seeing him twice a week. I didn't say the last part. Just in case I change my mind on that one!

That is when he gave me the book. I'm looking it over and it's your favorite topic Pink CBT!!!

So we've come full circle, I started with CBT and it's back again. Although, he says he's been doing this with me. I think the book will be good from what I see so far. It's much more expansive than have a thought, write it down and then talk back to it.

We'll see how it goes

I still can't get over this odd feeling...I hope it comes to me soon.