Speaking only for myself, too much of any one thing, gets boring. There's an old monk saying: Everything in moderation. Like most old monk sayings, you can find that there are multiple meanings in simplified statements. Here, let's put the emphasis on the word 'everything'.

I admire you for clinging to your sense of self. It's the one thing no one can take from you, unless you let them. So it is confused right now. I think you may see, in time, that never goes away because every solution leads to new problems and every answer leads to more questions. The 'what' that you referred to is for you to decide. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, let your best health be your guide.