Sometimes I think nostalgia is a disease. Sometimes I'm so overwhelmed and hurt by it.

This past weekend I was visiting my hometown (far away), saw some old friends, saw my parents, saw my old school, etc. And I could barely keep from crying. Not over anything sad, but over happy memories, good times I'd had. Remembering past joys is sometimes so hurtful to me that I don't know how I'll survive the passage of time. Noticing that my old friend's daughter is a teenager, that my father seems old and frail, that my old university is crowded with new buildings, all these things bring me so much pain. I'm afraid I'll have to move from place to place throughout my life because after some years they all become so haunted with past memories for me. I choke when I see them. Why can't I say "hey this was a fun place where we had some good times?" Instead I just cry.

I'm only 36 (37 this weekend). If I'm this nostalgic now, what on earth will I be like when I'm 70?! I don't know how I'll survive anything. Even reading one of the old books I'd read as a child again (something I was doing while I was at home) made me want to cry.

Do other people feel this way?

I don't seem to dwell on anything sad though. It's the happy memories that hurt me. Go figure.

Sidony