I don't punch the wall until my fists bleed because I want attention. I don't make myself bleed because I think it'll make me feel better. I do it simply because I deserve it. I deserve every ounce of pain I can bring onto myself. I deserve every bad thing that happens to me. I deserve it. All of it. All of the pain and suffering both physically and emotionally. I deserve every second of my hell. My pain is my punishment.