I'm in the same boat with hating my job and all. Trust me when I say, that I don't nearly have the experience you do, however. I'm pretty young and maybe my perspective is a little immature or not quite as wise. To be honest, if you have the ability to move somewhere (save the money, get a job etc.) my advice is that you go for it. Regardless of the fear you have, you know you hate where you are and that waking up everyday upset about the idea of going back to that job, that's no way to go through life. Look, you've already been through the mill with the chances you've taken but that doesn't have to be the case here. If that's how you look at it, it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. You have to go into that decision with optimism, even if you have to really force it. I am definitely not one to be optimistic but when it comes to that, you have to calculate everything with a sense of hope. You're going to get canned from any job that doesn't meet your goals of a fulfilling life or you're just going to hop around over and over between them. Find a calling. Do you like to help people? Are you into finances? Do you prefer working hard on a project that's more of the technically creative side (film crew)? On top of that, you can't just look for a calling. You have to enjoy hobbies that you do outside of work: Collecting, reading, writing, acting, drawing, building model airplanes etc. You have things in life that give you pleasure, not just in your occupation but your daily life. That's my perspective, anyway. Good luck, I hope you find what you're looking for.