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Old Mar 19, 2016, 08:01 AM
Icare dixit's Avatar
Icare dixit Icare dixit is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: A version of earth
Posts: 2,626
More and more, I just feel utterly spent and suffocating due to loss of meaningful stimulation. Looking for stimulation makes it worse at first, meaningless stimulation being worse than no stimulation, so I just sleep (if I can without meds or with them if necessary). I don't think much, just experience and wait till my senses are no longer mentally inflaming. I get better at it each time: no thinking about anything.

After some time I can distract myself with some visual or musical stimulation, it not feeling mentally painful anymore. Later still, I can face the world again, carefully and slowly. I just go outside and wander around, waiting for any meaning to what I see to return.

Then finally, I am good to go.

It's just a waiting game, really.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
Thanks for this!
Wanderlust90