How are you feeling now? Have you or have you thought about seeing someone in the mental health field?

I'm not clear on what you're asking, but the first thing that I would say is that you really shouldn't take medications from others. Were you in the midst of your depressed state when you took these pills? Did you take them because you felt that you needed sleep or did you intend to harm yourself?

I'm going to try to understand what you're asking: you had what can safely be called a depressive episode. You're wondering if your decision making skills might have been faulty while in that depressive state? That question is simple to answer – yes, you can certainly assume that if you were contemplating suicide, going so far as to cut yourself, you weren't operating with a great deal of clarity or lucidity.

I have hypomanic episodes and I've done some really stupid stuff when I'm in one of those states. And I have hallucinations and I've decided that I'm going to have to live with. I thought that I spent about $8,500 during a 3-month manic spending spree... but a couple of weeks ago I actually went through all of my charges on all of my cards and I actually spent a little under $20,000. That's not me. I can't explain why I did that. My den was a maze of unopened boxes. Looking back on that particular episode the only explanation of why I kept spending is that I had some kind of "high" during the time between placing an order and receiving it. That's what I think now, but I really don't have an explanation.

But I've had really bad depressive states in which I've not been exactly lucid. I'm not too lucid now. I have some reality checking tools now, though, and I've started to think that it's too hard for me to keep thinking that I'm in control all of the time.

Those are a few examples of the times that my decision making skills have eluded me. If you're trying to discover anything specific that you may have done during that period indicative of faulty thinking, other than the cutting and suicidal thoughts, my only suggestion is that you may want to ask those who were around you at that time if they noticed any unusual behavior during that time.

If I've misunderstood your question, I apologize. I've been in one of my severe depressive states for 2 or 3 days and just dropped in here for no particular reason. It seems as if it's been years since I was last playing with a full deck.