yes and no ... I just as you say have run it thru my mind over and over for years ... when I got dxed bp1 , I knew my dream of passing my insurance to my family was over ... any thing I do even an accident is going to be called a su ... no pay off ... but now ... I have found a way to "prove" it an accident for sure .. so now the hesitation is gone ...
... it scares me a little ... I am not sure I could trust myself if it gets very bad again ... so I want to give the plan to my T ... if she knows .. and tells ... no payoff ... no insurance to pass on ...
no reason to act...

but will she see this as a sign that needs imediate attention ... such as ip ... I'm very stable and clear headed right now ... no su at all ... I really want this feeling to go away ... but I am afraid of ip again ... but maybe I do need it ... I'm not sure I can change by myself ... I need to trust someone ... I really feel she maybe the one ...

I really want to live ... but I am afraid of those really dark days like I have had before ... maybe they will never come back ... but do I take that chance ...