Personally, I don't believe in mimicking what books say. For example, I'm a very shy guy. So, when I search what I can do about it, I'll find some specific suggestions like say this and do that. It doesn't sound genuine to me. Giving some general guidelines is insightful (like be genuine, be honest, be considerate, truly listen, ... etc), but giving some sentences to say, which may you don't mean, isn't helpful, in my opinion.

In many of your posts you said your wife doesn't want to do this or talk about that. What about you do and talk about what she wants instead. May be if we change, others will change, too.