Yesterday I found out that I lost my job. I was just going to sleep, and darn, was I happy that I had taken my sleeping pills. But I ended up not getting any sleep at all and painting through the night.

Thank god I was just painting.. If my dad hadn't disconnected me from the Internet I probably would have spent my life savings on Ebay. Which is what I'm about to do now.. Bidding on items that I might not be able to afford in the end since I'm gonna have to pay my hospital bills, my rent and god knows what else... Gee.

And I've promised to go to all these raves that I might not be able to afford to go to either. Christ. This one event is free, but it's the traveling that costs.

Now that I lost my job, I don't know where I'm gonna get any money. When I lived with my roommate, I got all these grants and benefits, but now that I live at my parents' house and have practically no expenses, I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to pay all this.

But to be honest.. It doesn't bother me as much as it sounds.

The only thing that worries me is that I lost my job. It was really important to me. Argh.