Thank you. I hate myself so much right now. They keep trying to tell me I'm sick and it's my "responsibility but not my fault." But I get so vicious with the self-hatred when I mess up because it's me who buys razors, me who cuts, etc.

I asked my therapist how she doesn't think I'm worthless disgusting **** when I do this and she said "because I'm not you, nobody else thinks that." She says it makes her sad, it makes my pdoc sad and both of them scared but not mad or disgusted because it's an illness and I need to start feeling sad and scared but not condemning myself. It's so hard. My self-hatred is so intense.