i dont like the hospital either... if you are in danger though maybe its good thing to go...
its good to be completely honest with your therapist... you have to be able to trust him/her to really make progress... if you dont talk about those things with therapist then cant help you with it..?
i know how hard it is to be honest though... just need to be able to trust your therapist...
if you cant then maybe you need a new one...?
the hospital for me is kind of bad because its really triggering... they just want to help at the hospital but i dissociate and everything will seem better and then it just reverts...
only reason i would go back is if i was really going to attempt to end it all...
for me though i have only ideations but i dont want it to end i just wanna get better...
i know its hard... please try to talk to your therapist about whats going on so she can help you get through it... just express your concern and worry about what she will do or how she will react first...