I left my former T month ago, saying I have no money and I will call him when I could see him and I still didnt call him.
I simply left without any presents, hugs or anything else. I dont see any reason why I should come back, I dont want to continue this weird romantic relationship, I gain nothing, I wasted my time. I dont want to think about his feelings because if he cant be with me in real life, I dont want to be his client for hour a week.
I think attachment is something that destroys therapy and turns it into some kind of weird torture which is nonsense.
It wasnt therapy at all, it was weird relationship and I payed for it.
Okay I feel sick if I remember all the times he asked me to stay because he missed me. It was always too hard to leave, I dont even want to think about it, Im scared I would come back and love him again. I dont want it.
Yes I sound heartless but if he doesnt need me in his real life, why should I be in his therapy life.
I feel shame about how stupid I was but I dont think about it, so I dont care.

Just wanted to tell you that its possible to terminate your T without tears etc.
Funny but always when he had holidays I met someone else and last holidays (Xmas) I madly fell in love with someone else and I cant think of two men at the same time. I didnt see my T so his existence didnt disturb me to like someone else. Yes, I have issues in my current relationship, its really crazy, but I have another T to talk about it. I dont want to attach to him at all because I want to be free my issues and dont want to get one more issue and destroy my treatment again.

Yes, I thought I couldnt live without my T and would love him all my life but as you see everything ends, you can be free from everything even if you dont believe.

P.S. Im okay with leaving my T but Im not okay in my life, relationships etc so I still need help but I wanted to tell you that its possible to get over love in therapy, to get over crossed boundaries etc. I hope it gives hope to someone who is tortured by feelings in therapy. Everything ends