I totaly agree with eskielover . That is exactly where my mind went to as well . I have been asking the same questions Phil ( I chose to leave out the pshychotic because it is not who you ARE it is what you struggle with )
I have suffered in this life at the hands of others and these traumas brought me to a place of total mental instability. I was hospitalized 3 years ago being diagnosed as bipolar with schizoafective disorder .My life and the lives of my family were totaly turned upside down.I too was angry with God , I didnt understand him or believe that he loved me . With time and much therapy and finaly prayer I have come to a place of healing , Physicaly , mentaly and spiritualy.
If you have a bible Phil go to Luke chapter 22 or there about and read about Jesus and how he suffered , was betrayed , how he was humiliated , beaten and mocked .
He was in agony and he prayed and god sent an angel to strengthen him . Reading this has given me hope in my suffering and hopefully it with help you as well .

The most important thing is you are asking questions and God is faithful to answer them . I pray Phil , that God will reveal himself to you just where you are in just the way that you need .
Take care,
Sher