Peace , I finally have it . I slept in my bed last night , spent a day sharing , giving and receiving love from my wife . Though my sleep is still fit full and sparatic , I feel the best I have in ten years . It is resolved in my mind . I will live , I will see tomorrow , I can plan for our future .

I'm not kidding myself I know there is a high probably the darkness will return sometime . But I have a plan to survive it . I am being totally honest with my pdoc and plan on keeping a T . Hopefully the one I currently have . I know my limits and will seek help when I feel trouble coming . My next goal is too get control of my nervous snacking . To get control of my weight . Maybe start taking better care of my physical self .
Some where down the road I hope to work with depressed or bipolar people that need a postive voice to tell them it can get better , to never give up , that is a life after mental illness .

Anyone who knows me , knows I have been all over the place in my journey . The trip is just starting , I surely will stumble , fall down and fail . but I now have support in place , including you wonderful friends here at PC , and I have promised to reach out and accept help when I need it , a big deal for me .

Never give up friends if I can do this and find hope , I know you can too , it may not be soon , it may not be easy , but I believe in all of you , and it is my deepest desire that you find the peace that I have today . God bless you all . ... Tigger .