thanks for the support... i dont talk about any of whats going on in my mind with anyone so its something thats really hard to talk about or explain or express or whatever...

basically i've gone through just about every trauma i can imagine...
psychotic step brother torture... tried to kill me a few times... ect...
physical, mental, sexual abuse...
foster care...
domestic violence... parental...
car accident..
fell out of a tall tree and scarrd me up blacked out..
probably things i cant remember... i just remember very little and short bursts of memories..
all before i was 9 years old...
and now its like my memory is totally screwed up and cant remember anything from back then or from this morning

its a pathetic story and i dunno how to express any of it really...
i dont like pity or whatever because it makes me feel weak...
but im trying to learn that its ok ... some people just really do care...
im better today in some aspects, but other aspects have gotten worse..
like im alot better at bottling everything up and hiding things, but everything bothers me more...

but i try really hard, i really do... dunno why i cant just get better
im ok... i keep telling myself im ok... ill be fine...
please dont feel bad for me