im sorry you had to go through all of that... you really ddid not deserve any of that... i know that it can make you feel like its your fault... but you were a child and it was their responsibility, not yours...

i wrote a lot more but im not going to post it because i dont want to upset you or say something wrong... its really really hard dealing with ptsd and you really dont deserve it...
try to be gentle with yourself... pain is a constant for me too and its the only thing i know to be real as well...