I've been feeling horrible depression for no apparent reason for weeks now. I know most all of you know the feeling, so I feel really stupid detailing this. I never post on the bipolar thread because so many of the posts are duplicated, describing what I might be feeling at any given time. Given that introduction, forgive me...

I'm tired of waking up each morning feeling sick because the depression is there as soon as I open my eyes -- it's like a dull ache throughout my body. I also find myself crying for no apparent reason, which makes me reticent about leaving the house lest I start crying in public. I'm so damned tired of feeling like this; bad days or weeks can be somewhat tolerable, but this has been lingering for weeks. The thought of suicide runs through my mind on a daily basis, but they're just thoughts; I would hurt & disappoint too many loved ones if I took this route -- in my eyes, it seems selfish. I'll never go into a hospital again, as I don't think they do a damned bit of good...for me, they just feel like human warehouses. My therapist says I should try to resume a regular routine, but I don't have it in me....So, I sit here complaining.

I'm maxed out on my AD & I'm already on so many meds that I don't feel calling my pdoc for an earlier appointment would do any good. I'm at a loss. I can only hope this passes eventually. The thought of continuing like this is intolerable.

And this is simply a ditto...I know most of you recognize what I'm feeling. Nothing new here. I'm just tired.