I understand where you're coming from, I've been there myself. What really got me out of depression 4 years ago, was going on carbamazapine (Tegretol) and it helped a lot. There's a new ER version of if called Equetro and I feel that it has less side effects than Tegretol. It can cause weight gain, but the most I gained from it when I started it was 5 lbs.

I can tell you about some crystals too for depression. If you want to know more, just hit me up in chat.