sidony, I wonder if things are so difficult in your present life, that it seems painful to look back and see how "happy" things were back then (you said you tended to dwell on the happy stuff from the past)? I think that is an understandable feeling if you are going through hard times now. Maybe when you are back on your feet in the present, the happy past will not seem so painful.

I don't feel much nostalgia, maybe just for simpler times, when there weren't so many considerations about kids, divorce, career, etc. Life was simpler when I was young and single, and had only myself to worry about, so I can look back on those times longingly (even though they were't actually that happy).

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It's just that the present seems so hopeless sometimes.

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hopelessness = key feature of depression. Please take care of yourself, sidony.