you can come here for support.. it has helped me a great deal having a place to just come and talk about how crazy i feel...
and no one has ever treated me badly for the things that i have said; everyone is always supportive

of course im no professional but i struggle with depression too... so i feel your pain
im 26 years old and feel much like you... i choose not to go out, not to have friends, isolate.. i dont have a drivers license, infact im terrified to drive... so i dont have transportation unless i get a ride from my dad or someone..
i also live with my dad.. not trying to take over your post, just want you to know you are not alone in this...
currently i cant afford treatment either but like you i refuse to self destruct... i will win this war even though i lose many battles!
i also repress emotions and bottle everything up and like skeezyks says it does seem to make it worse... it boils over and comes back stronger... but then you push it back down and it builds more pressure and starts shooting out like a volcano eventually?

its hard when you have no outlets, no one to talk to... no therapist...
but i think psychcentral is a decent outlet... its not a place to be cured i think but its a supportive place you can reach out to others going through similar things for encouragement and support...

i think you doing what you did for your mom was great, i would of done the same thing
im sorry about all of the struggles you are facing... but try to remember to be gentle with yourself.. depression is a beast that we have to fight... we can defeat it, i know we can... i refuse to think there is any war that i cant win

i think its good that you exercise... but you have to remember to take care of yourself... please?


edit:
oh i also feel like someone will find me out on this website too.. but i try not to worry about it because no one really knows what im going through or that i use any kind of forum for support...