I cut last night, not deep but a lot. It was the only thing I could do. I had too. If I hadn't cut I was going to do something stupid, I decided to cut first and then see what happened. I went to sleep after I cut. I felt a little better. I am going to be seeing a friend today and I will tell her about last night and if she thinks I should call my T I will. Maybe it is better to be locked up in a hospital, than to continue to cut just so I don't have to do anything worse. I am just really messed up in the head right now. Maybe a hospital stay would be best. I don't like the idea but maybe.