I can completely agree with this statement. I have a feeling my H feels the same way. It's not so much about sex, but about the connection. Men often feel connection threw sex. Sex is confirmation that of value. To a woman sex is not so much how you show love and affection. You show love and affection then comes sex.

I don't have regular sex with my husband, we even tried the experiment where I initiate sex and if I never think about it hen we don't have it. The goal was though to not feel threatened by my H's sexual advances. And to pay attention to my sexual needs. That kinda backfired though. I didn't have the heart to deny my H sex for 6 months.

I see now threw lots of T that my H feels very hurt and unloved. I have not helped him feel wanted or cared about. I have not helped him feel needed and appreciated. My touch says that to him. My closeness says that to him, my willingness to have sex says that to him. My words can say that to him. But it takes more then jsut my words to make him feel secure. Body language, touch, hugs, physical connections and sexuality are so much stronger forms of positive re enforcement.

Humans need touch under ordinary circumstances. I don't have normal circumstances. I don't like hugging, I don't like cuddling, I don't like to be touched. I wear clothes to bed so I don't feel his touches, I wear a shirt and socks during sex so I am not able to feel touches. I jsut don't like it.

I am saying this to you so that you can see that sex is not always about sex, it is about human compassion and connection. You need touch, you need understanding, you need human compassion, you cheat because you need human touch, and skin to skin contact. Being intimate with someone fills your need for skin to skin contact and human touch as well as the sexual urges you may have. That doesn't make it right, it is just one of the more logical sides of the reason one cheats. I am lucky my husband has chosen not to cheat. Just like murder is wrong even if it is done because someone abused you. Stealing is wrong even if you steal food because you are hungry. Adultery is wrong even if you have a instinctual need for touch and compassion that is not being met. Just because there is a logical reason doesn't make it right ,just more understandable, but not right.

Keep going to T, and become the best person you can be. You will be much happier with your self and that means a lot.