Ive had many plans and many suicide attempts i am very into escaping anything that hurts .i guess im a bit of a coward that way . It's very hard being the only one in your family who doesn't work or go to school because of her issues hell i haven't even learned to drive not sure if i can cause of my disability it's very hard not having have lived your life to its fullest and yet wanting to end it before that.yet i dont want to mourn the death of my loved ones and i really want to go out on my own terms not gods.i cant so easily let this go i don't know how.im only twenty three now but at some point i will have to buy a gun or something and seriously take myself out

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