today i have been in and out... i've felt numb but all of a sudden almost burst into tears at a triggers notice... then i go out of it again...

not sure how to explain the in and out... just like my problems, everything i amd disturbed by... everything that hurts me... disappears...

writing this now im, having to close my eyes and squint and ... just to focus and try to bring it out, i dunno whats going on - its weird but im fine i think...

its not really a bad thing maybe? im not crying all day today... but i feel so disconnected...
and i cant think very clearly... atleast about these things, things bothering me ... i dunno ...

im just wondering if you guys have conflicting days too.. where your mind seems to be like... urghh how do i explain it...
in and out... thats all i can think.... im disconnected

im not happy, but i cant feel anything... just disconnected... i dunno how to say it.. do you guys go through this..? my brain keeps freezing, i hope this post is coherent... i mean i have these moments where i feel it... i cant explain it... its making me dizzy trying to think about it.. like falling out of my body... it im going to try to chill for a minute...

the whole day is gone ... can't believe its 11:40pm already...