Hey everyone! I'm making this thread because I've been obsessed with contradictive thoughts for years. I often looked for help and despite seeing improvement, the underlying contradictions remain. You see, I'm 26 and have been single for the last 14 years. For many years, I desperately searched for a girlfriend but now I found out I actually adore being single and here comes the contradiction : while I've been telling myself for years that I want a gf (because I kinda want one...), I enjoy single's life way too much to do anything that could put me in danger of getting one. Yet, in my mind, I can't want and not want a girlfriend, that's not very logical... I wrote ''danger'' because I had 2 long-distance relationships for 2 years (from 2009 to 2011) and I sacrified so much for not so much in return. It was always a big story to see my friends, I seemed to never have time to live my passions and I hated that. I felt as if I was losing my time and ultimately, wasting my life away. That's why I quit my last gf in 2011, to rebuilt myself. I had terrible relationships so I took that alone time to work on myself but I didn't expect to enjoy it so much... and now I could really live alone for the rest of my life! lol But I think the fact I never had sex is messing with my mind and is kinda trying to force me into getting a girlfriend but I don't want one, I mean, I don't know if I want one or not, anymore...

Everything is relative so don't take what I'm about to say, in the literal way but single, I enjoy the absolute freedom. I can do all I want, at any time I want, I owe nothing to anyone and I can work on my passion, ALL THE TIME! Of course, I miss kissing girls and I'd like to know how sex feels but I don't want to fight with girls anymore, I have no time for that! I love mathematics and intellectual's stuff. I often try to find solutions to people's life, I help others, I do lots of programming, I love building things! I workout 3 times a week, I work a lot on myself and making my life and those of my friends better. When I finish something, I jump on the next project and I adore this way of living. I feel accomplished. I'd get into a relationship but then I wouldn't be able to keep doing all I do. I build huge worlds in Unreal 4, I want to re-build old games in the best graphics possible so I leave a mark onto this world. These games will survive my death and I'd much rather do that than spending a night on the couch, watching bad sitcoms with a gf. I'm so independant, I feel no girl in her right mind would want to date me! LOL I'm not cheap but I got scalped so much by past gfs, I hate to spend money on girls, I don't like to do much sacrifices anymore and I don't have much time for relationships. :P I also have zero interest in being a ''player'' and I wouldn't say no to one nights but I refuse to spend fortunes to get drunk girls.

So... what's your verdict? lol Were you in my shoes, would you stay single forever or force yourself into a relationship even I don't have time to play games and so much to do?

Thanks!