Why would I choose to keep an illness? That's like asking if I'd want my GERD to be cured. The answer is well duh.

Maybe I wouldn't feel it's just an illness if I ever got anything good out of it. I mean I hate my mania because it exhibits as rage. No good feelings or extra energy whatsoever. Just rage if I'm not in a rage then I'm usually in a suicidal depression. MY baseline is suicidal depression it's where I spend 80% of my life.

The only stipulation I'd make is it had to be retroactive going back to when I first showed symptoms. I'd give up everything I've ever published and any awards I've won to not have it.

I have no illusions that I'd have some great normal life. I'm too damaged from my childhood to be normal but just to not have this ILLNESS would be bliss.