Wow this is actually me! From the day I left alone in the hospital with my baby I was convinced she would die. I started to wonder if I should even take her home because there was no point becoming attached to this person.

I did have post natal depression and anxiety and it was awful. I wouldn't let anyone take her out if the house without me until she was 10 months old. The first time she stayed at my dad's I almost had a panic attack.

She's 7 now and she knows nothing of this, but it still goes in to varying degrees. Some days I don't think about it, other days I'm convinced that if she goes to school something awful is going to happen. In summer my dad takes her to his house for a week but it's a 5 hour drive. The time between them leaving and then calling to let me know they got there is horrific. I cry, I wander round the house.. it's stupid. I even once was so upset that I had even started to think about what songs I would have to choose for her funeral.

I'm a single parent and don't have my family nearby so it is always just me and her. We do literally everything together. And now she's showing signs of not wanting to be separated from me. I went to my works Christmas party last year and she played hell with me because I was going out without her.

I don't think this will ever stop and I absolutely dread the teenage years. The thing is our children could be the safest and most reliable people, but it's the ones that aren't that can take them away and you have no control over that whatsoever. I really hate it. I'm so glad other people do this!

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